Monday, July 6, 2020
Daddy, We know our relationship was not perfect as nothing is. You know I thanked you and Mommy for giving me life and doing the absolute best you could have done. I'm sorry that I did not follow in your footsteps. However, I did absorb your talent and glad I did. I am thankful for everything good and bad since that has shaped me into the man I have become. There are the everyday things a father teaches a son, like how to tie your shoes, fishing, and penmanship. You also wanted me to be a better sign painter than you which even if I could, it would have never been as good as you. Now I'm reflecting on the facets of my character I did not identify as coming from anyone in particular, probably because they became a part of my life before I could recognize how I acquired them. You taught me kindness, politeness, chivalry, honor, courage, and to care for the less fortunate. I now realize that one way I stayed close to you while I lived in Florida without even recognizing it was my volunteer work with the homeless & abused. Although my living out of state created great physical distance, I always looked forward to talking to you and Mom almost every day and I have many fond memories of our visits that I will cherish forever. The time that I was in a bad place, you came to Florida, spent time with me, and were a major factor in getting me to the other side, so I could once again thrive. It was hard to watch your health begin to fail and difficult to hear your occasional words letting me know you were aware your time on earth was growing short. When I saw you on Mommy's birthday a few weeks ago, I could see that the time would unfortunately be sooner rather than later. I just didn't anticipate it to be so soon. On your final day, I never felt closer to you in my life. As sad as it was to lose you, it was an honor to hold your hand, caress your forehead, and tell you that I Love You as you left this earth, knowing my touch was the last touch you felt, my words, the last words you heard. Dad, I know you were aware of my bad shoulder, and I am sure you heard my complaints in those final hours. I injured my shoulder in the winter of 2013 while living in Colorado suffering significant loss of strength and motion. On Saturday morning when I fell down your front steps landing on my right elbow, of course I was expecting the worst. When I got up, my elbow which struck the bottom step, was in pain, bruised, and bleeding; however, my shoulder no longer hurt. I have come to realize a significantly noticeable improvement over the last few days. The droop is gone, my arm no longer has to rest against my side, and I can hold my arm straight out parallel to the ground, for the first time in 7 years without supporting it with my left arm. This led me to remember you asking many years ago if I was receiving any messages while sleeping as you were attempting to communicate with me in some type of spiritual way. This is important, since as you know, I am not a person of faith. I am not jumping to conclusions here Dad; however, I thank you for giving me something to explore as this event has touched me deeply. I want everyone to know that I am proud to be your son and I will remember You always. Until we meet again Chris The first collage are the two most significant photographs with my Father. Our wedding 03-12-2011 North Beach Fort de Soto, FL. With You and Mother as our witnesses & our last photo Mother's Birthday 06-17-2020
